It’s about time that car builders stated considering what the average bloke wants in a car as opposed to something that looks and sounds good in a TV ad. Cars are a convenient mean of transport for work, shopping, pick up/drop off kids and elderly parents, go for drives to unwind/cool off etc etc. We all know that in real life it won’t be driven by tall, dark and handsome at speed along a winding road through snowy mountain passes. Nor will it be driven recklessly across streams splashing water everywhere (why is their never a hidden rock to rip the sump off?) It will be driven on normal roads by blokes like me-Joe Blogs.
I’m not asking too much, just something practical to get from A to B as cheaply and reliably as possible. I am not attempting to make a fashion statement so the shape of the car are a matter of indifference to me. Streamlining it to resemble a shark or Spitfire from WW2 is pointless. It’s for sitting in and moving, not for leaving in the driveway to be admired. Any shape will do as long as it’s a cube or rectangle because they are the easiest to fit in a car park. For colour I will happily settle for either “Doesn’t-show-the-dirt” or any shade of “Cleans-easily”. If I want it to stand out in the mall car park I’ll spray paint my name on it. The car radio needs to be very basic. I want two LARGE knobs that my fingers can find in the dark. One knob is for tuning and the other for ON/OFF and the volume. The knobs should be at either end of the radio so I can’t grab the wrong one. They need to be where I can reach them without any contortions. All other buttons etc are history. I don’t smoke so the ashtray and cigarette lighter are unnecessary. The bumpers have to be broad, solid and for bumping other cars-not for show. The outer edges of all doors are to be soft padded so I can’t damage another car in the car park, and they can't damage me once padding becomes standard. Until it is standards there is to be another broad band of the same stuff horizontally along the doors to stop others damaging me. The cars interior needs to be lined with soft, wipe-clean stuff the colour of which is equally unimportant. As long as it is dark. The speedo should not read above 100kph. This is the legal limit and I am not safe to drive above it. So do not encourage me. As many small components as possible should be easily replaceable using either a screwdriver or spanner. These two tools are to be included with the wheel changing stuff. All parts should be easily purchased. For example I only want to buy the headlight bulb, I do not want to replace the entire unit. All orifices requiring lubricants should be large mouthed and clearly labelled: Oil, water, hydraulic fluid etc. Checking the levels of these should not mean me getting stuff all over my hands. Leg room in the back. I’d like some. Not everyone is stunted and there should be sufficient leg room back there even when the front seats are fully to the rear. I’m tall, and having to drive with the front seat forward to accommodate someone in the back seat leaves me hunched over the steering wheel in the foetus position. No trim, coloured bits or anything flashy to be allowed. They will either fall off, get knocked off or go rusty or discoloured. Al that shouldn't be too difficult. So get on with it. Where is my Ministry of Mens' Affairs? Got a Ministry of Womens', Kids', and Maori affairs. Where is mine? What do you mean I can‘t have one? Why not? I belong to a group under great threat yet proportionally do more manufacturing/making money/ fixing the potholes in the streets than any other group. And yet I will do the worst at school, die early, commit more suicides more early and are more likely to end in prison. So where is the ministry watching out for me and the other men? |
AuthorThey said I have to have a blog. It's apparently part of the deal for promotion of one's self and through that one's work. Everyone will read it, they say, and that will lead to greater sales. Though in truth I'm not sure I can fill a blog with writing about my writing, I'd rather be writing about stuff my imagination comes up with and that turn into stories, both short and long. ArchivesCategories |